Apple Cup Preview 1 of 5: Moderation Is The Key

According to the Center for Disease Control, binge drinking is associated with many health problems, including but not limited to

Unintentional injuries
Intentional injuries
Alcohol poisoning.
Sexually transmitted diseases.
Unintended pregnancy.
High blood pressure, stroke, and other cardiovascular diseases.
Liver disease.
Neurological damage.
Sexual dysfunction.
Poor control of diabetes.

The top 5 health problems on the list also have a rapid increase in Pullman, Washington on Apple Cup weekend. During bowl-eligible years conception rates jump according to what team has the possiblity of attending a bowl game. The Apple Cup baby phenomena is not a concern this year, however the utter digust Cougar-males feel towards the football team has created an increase in impotence (technically a sexual dysfunction.) The Dead Kennedy's song Too Drunk To Fuck from the album Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death was actually written after the Cougs 1986 loss. I'm sure someone will mismanage their 'betes and screwing in Pullman is like playing Russian Routlette with a loaded vagina so the STD's will be there.

Remember when Binge Drinking, please Binge Drink appropriately...Two 40's of Mickey's usually cuts it. Wrap up fellas, unless you love her because everyone knows you don't use condoms if you're in love, that's what bc pills were made for.