
Typing class in grade school was tedium anyone who had to hammer away on "word processors" knows this. The saving grace of this terrible class was gameday. Silent ball was perhaps the most popular game we played on those fantastic days. I'm not sure the connection between a physical game with balls and computers but I could posit Mr. Evans wanted us to shut the fuck up for 45 minutes a week. Other days Evans would silence the banshee song of 30 pre-teen kids with the magic of Floppy Disks.
Oregon Trail, ladies and gentlemen, was the bees knees. The hunting, the death, floating rivers, disease...it was all so historical and fun. Cholera was a villian in this game damnit, think about that for a minute.
Everyone loved naming the characters in their party. The girl you liked, your best friend, and the girl they like. I'm not sure if you provide a fifth name if so it was your poor friend who was not around that day and he/she was not allotted a videogame life-partner.
Oregon Trail taught me so much about life. First it taught me about loss. This fucking game always took away the girl I liked ALWAYS. It was unfalable my 3rd grade chosen mate was ravaged by herpes or whatever the fuck my Apple cooked up that day.
Oregon Trail espoused lessons of conservation, you hunt an area too much you're screwed. Rumor has it a younger Al Gore realized the damage we inflict on the earth when he had to shoot rabits for 35 consecutive minutes before his party died from starvation.
Finally, it taught me perseverance. Sure my oxen, my liked ones, and my friends died on the way to the Willamette Valley or the fertile Columbia Basin but I made it. I dodge those rocks of the Columbia and found my way to this beautiful land.
God I loved this game and all my peers loved this game. If you couldn't get your hands on this you had to play Carmen Sandiego. She was a slut and most likely a prostitute who robbed her customers. If she came to my place of residence she'd be clapping her hands on the way out so I know she didn't steal anything. Keep clapping Sandiego sorry about the red overcoat I hear that washes out.
Amazon Trail was bullshit.
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